just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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