bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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