But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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