i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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