Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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