I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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