That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
