I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
