Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Did I show you my penis last night?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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