i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
