I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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