I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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