Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
