Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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