she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
