THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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