just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
