she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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