Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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