I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
