i think my mom watched the whole time
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
