"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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