He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize