I hate all girls vehemently.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
