omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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