Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
