you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize