She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
