R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize