Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Randomize
