I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
