I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
you traded sex for a burrito?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
