2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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