god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
