Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
