i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
This house was built for laser tag.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
