On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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