38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
