Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
