She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize