those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
