Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
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