It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I forget how to act sober
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
