he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
