I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
