he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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