do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
