her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
