I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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