I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
