Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
