My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
