So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
