If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
