very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
