I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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