found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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