Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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