Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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