were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
