just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
