We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
