I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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